‘A brother may be assigned a burdensome task or something he cannot do. If so, he should with complete gentleness and obedience, accept the order given him. Should he see, however, that the weight of the burden is altogether too much for his strength, then he should choose the appropriate moment and explain patiently to his superior why he cannot perform the task. This he ought to do without pride, obstinacy or refusal. If after the explanation the superior is still determined to hold to his original order, then the junior must recognise that this is best for him. Trusting in God’s help, he must in love obey.’
Ch 68, Assignment of Impossible Tasks to a Brother
I have quoted this chapter in full. Lifting a sentence out of context could very easily give the wrong impression of St Benedict’s teaching. Every monastic will have found themselves in the position of something being asked of them which seems too big or burdensome. What this chapter highlights for me is the importance of respectful listening on both sides.
You might be wondering why a superior might insist on something even after the monastic has calmly explained the difficulties involved. One way of understanding this is to look at it from the superior’s perspective and to imagine that the superior sees deeper than the monastic. The superior sees the potential in the monastic and knows that they are in fact capable of what is being asked. It’s a form of encouragement.
In my own monastery we have an unwritten addendum to this chapter. Our Prioress will often begin by saying ‘This is a real question’. This means that you are free to say ‘no’ to what is being asked. This is very liberating. If you say ‘no’ it won’t be held against you. This, in fact, makes it easier to say ‘yes’!
Have you been in the position of asking something potentially burdensome of another in a family situation or work? What did you learn about yourself?
Image: Turvey Abbey
Shot through the chapel window, this is Sr Zoe Davis (Prioress) on the left and me on the right. I’m not being asked to do an impossible task, but I am using my hands to explain something!