John 21:1-19
Simon Peter, do you love me?
In English we have one word ‘love’ and it can mean a whole variety of things. If we want to be specific we have to qualify it. Greek has at least 7 words for love. Our passage from John’s Gospel uses two of these: agape and philia. Agape is unconditional, sacrificial love. Philia is the affectionate love of friends.
When Jesus asks Peter the first time if he loves him he says ‘agapas me?’.
Peter replies, you know that I love you (philo se).
Jesus asks Peter a second time ‘agapas me?’ and he replies ‘philo se’.
By the third time a shift has occurred. Jesus says ‘phileis me?’
And Peter replies ‘philo se’.
It’s that simple. Jesus has come to Peter’s level. Jesus meets Peter where he is and doesn’t demand a type of love that he isn’t able to give.
This Gospel challenges me to make space for others. It challenges me to remember that you can’t demand love from another. People need space.
Can you be like Jesus?